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And Finally Brands & Merch Business News
Baby Shark cereal launched to ensure that song ruins your day as early as possible
By Andy Malt | Published on Monday 29 July 2019
Baby Shark doo doo doo doo doo doo is becoming a cereal doo doo doo doo doo doo because clearly doo doo doo doo doo doo we haven’t suffered enough.
Yes, South Korean entertainment company Pinkfong is continuing its efforts to ring every possible penny out of the ‘Baby Shark’ phenomenon. Keen to help out is Kellogg’s, which has announced a limited edition Baby Shark cereal, which is being launched to coincide with this year’s Shark Week (which began yesterday, in case you wondered).
“We know ‘Baby Shark’ is a catchy tune that has captured the hearts of many families”, says Kellogg’s Marketing Director Erin Storm, apparently confused about the reign of terror this song has wrought. “New Kellogg’s Baby Shark cereal was created to expand on the joy families feel in a tasty way”.
Joy? What joy? That song is currently in my head for about 83% of every single day. Every time I manage to shake it, a child very near to me sings it anew, starting it all off again. I go to sleep singing it. I wake up singing it. Now there’s a cereal to ensure I’m set up for a full day of singing it. It’s killing me. I hate it.
Anyway, Storm said this new cereal was tasty. What’s so tasty about it? Well, like the song, it’s full of very simple ingredients sure to have you hooked within seconds. ‘Berry fin-tastic with marshmallows’ is how it’s billed. Basically, it’s sweet, brightly-coloured hoops, which should be enough on their own, but – just in case – they’ve added marshmallows. Marshmallows have no place in cereal. Cereal should be brown and taste like your life is going nowhere.
Baby Shark the cereal will be available at Sam’s Club from mid-August and Walmart stores from late September. That’s right, folks! It’s US-only! I saved the one little bit of happiness that is contained in this story for the very end. Unless you’re reading this in the US, in which case I have nothing for you. Doo doo doo doo doo doo.
