And Finally Artist News Beef Of The Week

CMU Beef Of The Week #107: Tyler, The Creator v The Wanted v One Direction

By | Published on Friday 20 April 2012

One Direction

Playground pecking order’s a funny thing, isn’t it? There’s always a bigger, meaner kid ready to put down the one you’re already scared of. So discovered One Direction this week.

According to TMZ, and I hope this story is true, at the point in the clearly manufactured feud between The Wanted and One Direction before The Wanted had come out and said it all existed in the imaginations of the British tabloids, 1D were apparently genuinely scared of their rivals. And being young, naïve boys with nice haircuts and fresh faces, One Direction might well be frightened of a band like The Wanted, who look they were plucked for stardom after being discovered in an alleyway kicking a tramp.

So, anyway, One Direction were rehearsing for their appearance on ‘Saturday Night Live’ at CentreStaging in Burbank, California when their security were alerted to the fact that The Wanted were due to arrive in the same studio complex to rehearse for their performance on ‘American Idol’.

Afraid for their lives, One Direction quickly packed up to leave, but before they could grab all their stuff and run out of the door, The Wanted arrived. Quick as a flash, their security guards (yeah, that’s right, they were apparently scared of being beaten up even though they had security guards – stop doubting the validity of this story, would you?) went and had a quiet word with The Wanted’s security guards.

I imagine the conversation (which definitely happened) went like this:

1D security dude: Hi Dave, how are you?

The Wanted security dude: Oh, I’m good thanks Johnny. How are you? How’s the wife?

Johnny: Ah, you know, can’t complain. The kids are driving me up the fucking wall though.

Dave: Yeah? Well, they’re at that age I guess. I can’t imagine what it must be like to have twins that old. Especially when you have to work such long hours.

Johnny: Yeah, and now Sarah’s had to take on a part time job too. It’s hard, man. Anyway, look, we’re looking after these guys called One Direction. I’m not really sure who they are but the girls, they love them. To be fair, they do have really lovely hair. But anyway, they’re really fucking scared that your boys are going to come over and fuck them up, so could you make sure that doesn’t happen?

Dave: Really? I don’t know who the fuck these Wanted guys are, they’re just some skinny British guys. They couldn’t even kick a tramp to the floor in an alleyway.

Johnny: You haven’t seen the ones I’ve got. Seriously, they cry when they see me, and I’m supposed to be looking after them. Honestly, I don’t know why we put up with this shit. It’s not worth the hassle. All this fucking dancing and singing all the fucking day. Fuck! Oh well, it’s a job I guess. Gotta feed those twins!

Dave: Yeah, you’re right there. Well, nice to see you. I’ll make sure nothing happens. Ha ha ha! These skinny British kids, they crack me up. But, God, the loneliness I feel in my heart when I go to bed at night. Oh well, see you soon.

Then Dave went back to The Wanted and told him that some guys called One Direction were scared that they were going to beat them up and were trying to run away. The Wanted found this hilarious and Max from the group immediately ran over to his rivals’ studio so that he could laugh at them. Laugh at them right in their faces. Except Liam from One Direction, who he apparently hugged instead. Because apparently one of The Wanted and one of One Direction are friends, which kind of makes you wonder why anyone was scared (because remember this story definitely happened).

Anyway, The Wanted were the bigger kids in that situation, but there are always bigger kids out there. The bigger kid in this case is Tyler, The Creator. As a guest host of MTV’s prank show ‘Punk’d’, the Odd Future leader was tasked with making life a misery for The Wanted. Something he seems to have done gleefully.

“They’re big in the UK, but this is their first time in America. And I’m about to fuck that up”, Tyler tells the ‘Punk’d’ cameras in a clip that appeared online this week. And fuck it up he did, sending some actors dressed as police to ‘arrest’ them and generally not be nice to them. “He’s about to cry”, Tyler chuckles at one point as he watches them in secret from a nearby van.