And Finally Artist News

“Help! James Blunt wants me dead”, pleads Ed Sheeran

By | Published on Thursday 12 January 2017

Ed Sheeran

What’s it like to be stabbed in the face by royalty – not a question that’s been asked since 1694, but one that was asked of Ed Sheeran on Absolute Radio in 2017.

In case you somehow missed the story of the year in 2016, it was reported in November that Sheeran was stabbed in the face by Princess Beatrice, as she staged a mock knighting of James Blunt at a party at the Royal Lodge in Windsor. At the time Sheeran was still on his self-imposed break from public life. Now he’s back, promoting two new singles, everyone’s keen to get the inside scoop.

Sadly, Sheeran is being a little cagey about it, refusing to say exactly who was holding the sword when it plunged into his cheek.

“It did get cut by a sword”, he admitted. “James Blunt would like me to tell everyone that it was him and that he was trying to reclaim his pop career by killing me”.

In any other situation, that would be a story we could run with, but it’s not as good as a royal having sliced Sheeran’s face, so bad luck Blunt. And bad luck Ed, who notes that the version of events everyone believes is “not the most gangster story in the world”.

He adds that the scar left behind doesn’t allow him to invent a more ‘gangster’ story around it. “It’s too clean to be a shark and it’s too clean to be a bottle – it is a ceremonial sword”.

Still, if he won’t say what it’s like being stabbed in the face by royalty, how about he just tells us what it’s like being stabbed in the face with a ceremonial sword?

“I didn’t notice”, he said, disappointingly. “I guess when you shave, you cut yourself every now and then and your skin gets used to it, so I didn’t know I was cut. I got hit in the face and I was like, ‘alright, OK’. I looked down at my shirt and it was just completely covered in blood and everyone was kind of, gaping open-mouthed at me. I was like, ‘What? Have I got a nosebleed or something? What’s happened?’ But, yeah, it was… my face”.

His face indeed it was. And he faced further tough questions yesterday when Capital FM asked him to perform the theme tune to ‘The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air’ entirely on the spot and definitely without any warning whatsoever: