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IFPI gives 2015 to Adele

By | Published on Monday 8 February 2016


Just in case there was any doubt – and I know Steve has been going around doubting all over the place, and I have my suspicions about Melanie too, who I’m pretty sure is a secret doubter – Adele was the most popular recording artist worldwide in 2015.

That’s despite her monumental “fuck you” to the music industry’s most committed 50 million customers. And her concurrent “fuck you” to all the artists who reckoned you had to deliver a new record before quarter four to dominate the musical year. More fool you committed music consumers and quarter two releasing artists. That’s the lesson here, by the way.

Anyway, the International Federation Of The Phonographic Industry has declared Adele its Global Recording Artist Of The Year for 2015, which means she dominated across physical formats, downloads and streams. Well, not streams. But who cares about streams?

Says IFPI boss Frances Moore: “I’m delighted to be able to honour Adele as the most popular global recording artist of 2015. Her album ’25’ has been the runaway global sensation of the year, breaking records across the world and reaching a vast audience of fans. All of the artists in our top ten chart have achieved incredible success – and Adele’s achievement is simply phenomenal”.

You can now officially stream Adele’s new single ‘When We Were Young’, by the way, if you must. Maybe do a little jig to it to celebrate the fact she’s now shifted over eight million copies of ’25’ in the US. Or maybe let it wash over your mind as you imagine Adele on that flip-phone declaring “fuck you Spotify, fuck you Deezer, fuck you Sheeran, fuck you Swift, fuck you Bieber, fuck you 1D, fuck you Coldplay, fuck you Maroon 5, fuck you Smith, fuck you Drake, fuck you The Weeknd, fuck you all”. She should make that her next b-side.

And here’s the IFPI’s top ten global artists of the world. Oh look, 50% Brits, including the top two. Yeah, Fuck You World. That can be the title of Adele’s new b-side.

1. Adele
2. Ed Sheeran
3. Taylor Swift
4. Justin Bieber
5. One Direction
6. Coldplay
7. Maroon 5
8. Sam Smith
9. Drake
10. The Weeknd