And Finally Artist News

Serge Kasabian wants more carnage

By | Published on Wednesday 22 October 2014

Serge Pizzorno

Hey bands, stop being all laid back and clued up and sensible will you, let’s cause some proper “carnage”, yeah? Because Kasabian’s Serge Pizzorno is really missing all the carnage.

As he told The Big Issue just recently: “I won’t expose any bands but there’s nothing more depressing than seeing a band come off stage at a festival, go back stage and just flip their laptop open, at online shopping. And have some chicken and broccoli. I’m thinking, ‘Are you not gonna have a drink now? Cause some carnage?’ And they’re like ‘Naw mate, gotta watch the weight’. Fuck that, you don’t deserve to be doing this job!”

And there was you thinking this job was about making great music and entertaining your audience, but no, it’s all about the carnage. But what kind of carnage Serge? Well, let Noel Fielding, sitting in on the same chat with the Big Issue, explain. “Tom [as in Kasabian frontman Tom Meighan]’s dad once said to me, ‘I’ll give you a tenner if you’ll run on stage and bite Serge’s arse’, at the Isle of Wight Festival. I got on stage and bit his arse”.

See, it’s obvious isn’t it, when you think about it? So we’ve decided, if every member of every band hasn’t bitten at least one arse on stage by the end of the month, rock n roll will be officially cancelled. And all that will be left will be a half finished chicken and some cold broccoli.