And Finally Artist News Gigs & Festivals

Wes Borland prepares for cruise ship festival trip by insulting all fellow passengers

By | Published on Monday 2 February 2015

Limp Bizkit

The Shiprocked ocean cruise festival sets sail today from Miami on its way to the Bahamas. Sounds delightful, no? Not if you’re Wes Borland from headliners Limp Bizkit, apparently.

“Getting all packed up this week for Broatchella 2015”, he said in an Instagram post last week. Even though that’s not the name of the festival, the silly man. “It’s the same as Brochella but it’s off land”.

He continued: “Can’t wait to see me some roided out tribal tattooed spray tanned Jell-O shot filled bohunks do their best drunk MMA impressions in the top deck mosh pit. Whenever we aren’t on stage, I’ll be curled up fetal position in my cabin, palms up, while I desperately cling to the last week of my 30s as it slips through my hooked fingers”.

So, that’s the audience ostracised. Probably best to try to make friends with the other bands on the bill.

“I’d like to give a shout out now to all the other over-the-hill late 90s/early 2000s bands going on the cruise”, he wrote to his colleagues. “Let’s give these people the raging alcohol fueled nostalgia fest they’re paying for guys! I know we can do it if we tune down low enough!”

To be fair, I can’t really think of anything much worse than being stuck on a cruise ship for four days, with or without a festival on board. At least Borland is working hard to make the whole experience a bit more interesting. Will he make it to the Bahamas without being thrown overboard? It’ll be a nice reward if he does.